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Thursday, January 31, 2013

365 Days Ago: January '12

Welcome to our new monthly section, in which I share the photos (and occasional thoughts) that never got to see the light of day during The Great Voluntary Blogging Exhile Of 2012 - we're calling it that, now. This is all old material. And yet somehow, I'm still very much in love with it. Time travel!

It's been a year. I don't wear that skirt, that headband, or rosaries anymore. Time flies.

I bought a tube of red lipstick, wore it twice, and then left it to collect dust.

Experiments in freelensing. It was two in the morning and I had an exam to take the next day.

And this is Agramonte, where I sometimes go to sit on a bench and contemplate the fleeting nature of life. Sort of. Though the first time I went out of pure curiosity, because I think you can learn a lot about a city and its people by the way it treats its dead. I've been to many cemeteries - some feel neutral, some feel opressive, and some feel right out of a Victorian horror story. This one feels peaceful. You're in this contained space right in the middle of the city, and even if there are angry drivers and frustrated office workers and disturbing cat-callers right outside the walls, on the inside there's nothing but a handful of silent, focused people, and a fair share of wandering cats and mischievous seagulls (I swear I've seen one steal the metallic top of a candle). It feels like a bubble in ways that the parks around here do not. So I keep dropping by, most often without planning it, because it might just be the one context where I can sit in a daze and stare at the void for as long as I want without drawing attention to myself. It's a safe place to be alone with my less-than-desirable thoughts.

And it's big enough that I can walk around until my feet ache and nothing else matters.
You know. Perspective through priorities. It's a thing.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Almost There

Let me tell you a secret. The countryside? I've always hated it. The bugs. The dry, yellow grass rubbing against my legs in the summer. That fat, probably pregnant spider I found myself face to face with when I was doing my very own version of gardening a few months ago - read also, I tried to prune some shrubs and now they're all dead. Not sure whether those two incidents are related, but let's be honest, I wasn't doing it for the shrubs anyway. I was doing it to look cool, because two-hand pruning shears are cool.

That's nature in the summer, beginning of autumn, though. While it's still somewhat warm and inviting to all sorts of living creatures, humans included.

But now... now the temperatures have dropped, and the countryside looks like a bright green desert. Nothing moves, other than the crows perched on the walnut trees, and the occasional clump of firebugs chilling on a branch, or maybe on the corner of a stone block. It's quiet, unless the guinea fowl wants attention. These days, we only ever visit the country house to attend to our tiny zoo, which gives me plenty of time to wander. I always take the same route - the animals, the water well (where these shots were taken), the cabbages (always on the look-out for signs of the good old Pieris Brassicae), the few surviving shrubs, and the creek. It's become a somewhat comforting routine, even if I do have to wear three layers and rainboots to be able to complete it in this weather.

Which still doesn't change the fact that I'm only posting to remind myself that exam season is almost done, and then I'll be (somewhat) free to buy a nice jar and start a moss terrarium. And maybe even take on The Cat Skeleton Project...

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Kim Jaejoong's Forest Of Hirst And Teeth

Forgive the horrible pun. It's just that with all the wide-eyed-lost-in-the-woods nonsense going on in his video, I couldn't help being reminded of The Forest Of Hands And Teeth - which, incidentally, I didn't really like.

But back to subject.

I guess it'd be an understatement to say I've been having a wonderful time with the Kim Jaejoong solo stravaganza - after all I have been spamming Facebook ever since the first teaser photos came out. It got to the point where my sister's opinion of the video for Mine ended up triggering a discussion among the writing crew about the proper way to address a vampire/angel hybrid. (Screw democracy, I still think Ampire is the best option.)

Anyway. We all know I can get verbose in the face of beautiful things that somehow resonate with me - in fact, it's happening right now -, so I have decided to articulate my scattered thoughts into one cohesive post. The short version: I think this is what fantasies look like to asexuals with more fetishes than common sense. You know. Like myself.

And before you say anything, snakes are nature's nod to bondage. It counts as a fetish.

Monday, January 14, 2013

In The Correct Uniform

One exam done, one to go. Life has been nothing but books (the good, fictional kind), documentaries (it was 8:40 this morning as I was casually eating my morning toast and watching a rather entertaining one about hackers... and then when I got home I watched another one about the Natural History Museum in London and another one about fish), wearing these shorts until they start fitting properly, drinking lots and lots of water, and keeping myself on a very tight leash. Because you know what. Maybe I lied. Maybe I haven't made any resolutions for this year (or if I have I can't remember them). But I'm working on habits instead, and let me tell you, life flows quite smoothly when you commit yourself to doing (or not doing) certain things everyday.

Case in point: my Tumblr account has been logged off for the past 14 days. Oh glorious freedom from the blue scrolling demon. Though with the current Kim Jaejoong solo stravaganza, I've been taking my rants to Facebook, so I'm not sure whether I chose the right timing for this.

Either way, we soldier on.

PS - But don't think you won't be hearing all about my highly constructive thoughts soon. You will, as soon as the album's out. You will.
Monday, January 07, 2013


Remember that time I posted a set of interior design photos and called them "Miss Havisham ditches her old manor, moves to Mexico and dedicates herself to dreamcatchers and herb gardens"? Well, I'd like to name these "24-year-old bachelor Walter Rothschild time travels to the twentieth first century, bringing with him a penchant for zoological oddities but very little patience for dusting".

I was going to say I should start writing these things down, but... yeah.


In all seriousness though, Walter Rothschild was an impossibly cool guy. Assuming you know who he was, you probably know that he had a carriage pulled by zebras. You might have seen that great photo of him riding a giant tortoise. But did you know he was also 6'3", and rather shy? Did you know he started his first natural history museum when he was ten, after three years of stating he would? Did you know he never married? Seriously. Victorian soulmate right there.


PS - That humanoid-y thing with teeth is a dental phantom, by the way. Pretty cool. In case you ever find one lying around... I'll totally accept it as a Christmas gift.
Tuesday, January 01, 2013

New Beginnings

It might be a fickle thing to say, but 2013, as a number and hopefully as a year, just feels impossibly better than 2012. I've made a few resolutions and set up a few goals. I've decided to keep this feeling alive for the next 365 days.

If there's one thing 2012 brought me, more than anything else, more than extremely high highs and extremely low lows, was perspective. Perspective, and knowledge, and a deeper and quieter understanding of myself and the world. That's all I want. Peace, and soft music, and simplicity, and a world that's mostly tinted in light shades of blue and grey. I want to slow down. I want to stop clicking, and scrolling, I want to stop multitasking. I'm always multitasking. I want to stop forgetting things. I'm always forgetting things. Because I'm always speeding through one day just so I can dig my nails into the next one while it's still young. I want to stop the late nights, the screens in bed, the constant restlessness that comes from the constant urge to update (and get updates on) everything every thirty seconds. I deserve better. And I can most certainly do better.

I hope you all can, too. May 2013 bring you the opportunities to prove it!